thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
operation harelip BJ is a go
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
