when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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