Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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