I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
