Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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