Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
