Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
