drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
