she was so not down for the gang bang
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
