how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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