So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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