Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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