The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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