She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I see more hoeing in ur future
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