So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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