shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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