That's when you crack a 10am beer
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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