Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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