worst night to have a conscience
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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