Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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