This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
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I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
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speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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