Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
