Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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