i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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