Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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