i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you will always have a special place in my vag
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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