I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
