she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
