so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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