I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
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I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
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I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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