My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
