I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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