he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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