..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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