My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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