my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
that is very illegal...i love you.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
