Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
