I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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