the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
