on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
