You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
