He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
