Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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