yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
