im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
