yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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