I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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