just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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