listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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