So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
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I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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