Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
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Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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