How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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