i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
