Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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