All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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