where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
