life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
