kristin has been a bad kristin
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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